I Have A Cunning Plan ...
The hosepipe ban is still big news, so I’ve come up with a few suggestions as to how we could alleviate the lack of water in the south of England and at the same time reduce the amount of water we have here in the north ...

Plan A - Sponsored Siphoning
As I drive into work I go over the river Ouse – which at the moment is hard to distinguish amongst the flooded fields on either side of it. So my suggestion is we get a massive length of hosepipe and run it from the flood water by the side of the Ouse down to the south of England. Then I just need a volunteer to start the siphoning process off ... I suggest someone with very strong lungs ...